ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS:
1 Hey, what's your problem?
People keep walking in front of me really slowly, holding hands
and shit,
and I've got to risk getting run over by a fucking bus trying to overtake
them by stepping onto the road cause I'm in a rush AND they're wearing those
J-Lo style flannel tracksuits...I mean, what the fuck!?
2 What's the best thing about fuzz guitar?
It's the perfect accompaniment to a strong pumping overdive
bass line that
makes your testes vibrate at frequencies as low as 50hZ....kind of like that
all important olive in the martini that really fit girls hold
in hotel bars
sometimes.
3 What's your favourite Chevy Chase film?
The one where he's like, being chased by a bear because he tried
to eat all
the porridge and shit....er...
4 What your fights (wins/losses) ratio?
Fighting's bad, don't do it, but the truth is that they're generally stopped
pretty fast so it's hard to judge who came out better unless
one guy's
unconscious or blatantly bleeding and the other guy isn't. the best way to
win a fight is to avoid it, the second best way, if faced with a persistent
and determined drunk asshole assailant is to get the first punch in...and
even if you're scared, just go apeshit and shout and shit - 'he who goes
ballistic wins' is the motto for brawling....ok, 3:1.
5 How's your self image on a scale of 1-10?
7.26....sorry don't understand how you can measure self image - what the fck
is it anyway?
6 Who needs a good fucking slapping?
Who doesn't? No but really, my main ideal slap-recipient changes
daily
really, but miscellaneous Heads of state and Red-Top hacks have been
provoking itchy slapping palms on me pretty consistently for a while now.
7 What makes you happy?
Partying with friends, caning out solid loud tunes, sunshine,
and at the
risk of sounding cheesy, the sea....I love that lady's salty ass!
8 How would you like to die?
Well, how would you like to go the pub instead?
9 Where's the party?
Here.
10 Who rocks harder Dio or Ozzy?
Neither now, but if you're talking history then I'd say Ozzy,
I don't like
his new job as MTV reality joke-gimp though. I'm not mad at him, just
disappointed, you know?
Now say something interesting about yourself...
I lost my virginity to an ANC freedom fighter and drank half a bottle of Jim
Beam thirty foot under the Indian Ocean.
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