1 Hey, what's your problem?
TOO TALL SO I CAN'T DANCE WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT.
2 What's the best thing about fuzz guitar?
IT'S JUST REALLY SATISFYING. I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHY IT'S KINDA HARD TO GET YOUR
HEAD AROUND LIKE ALGEBRA, BUT IT'S COMPLETELY BASE AS WELL LIKE ROUGH SEX
WITH SOME CHICK. REALLY HEAVY, DECENT, SIMPLE FUZZ ROCK FUCKING TELEPORTS ME
BACK TO 1973 AND I FEEL GOOD ABOUT EVERYTHING AND WANT TO GET WITH YOU AND
YOUR FRIENDS.
3 What's your favourite Chevy Chase film?
CHRISTMAS VACATION HAS THE MOST EMOTION FOR ME.
4 What your fights (wins/losses) ratio?
2 FIGHTS, 2 LOSSES. BOTH OVER IN UNDER 5 SECONDS. TAKEN BY SURPRISE.
5 How's your self image on a scale of 1-10?
ABOUT 7 I GUESS. IMPROVING IN INVERSE PROPORTION TO MY HAIR SLOWLY RECEDING,
WHICH IS WEIRD.
6 Who needs a good fucking slapping?
ANYONE WHO'S SO TWO-FACED THEIR FRIENDS HAVE NO IDEA THEY ACTUALLY HATE
THEM. FUCK THOSE GUYS!
7 What makes you happy?
WATCHING A CAT PRETENDING TO HUNT A LITTLE ANIMAL WHEN IT KNOWS IT'S REALLY
ONLY A LID FROM A DRINK CAN OR SOMETHING BUT IT GETS MORE AND MORE INTO IT
AND DOES A BACK FLIP AND THEN STOPS AND LOOKS AROUND SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED
AND LICKS ITSELF.
8 How would you like to die?
ASLEEP OR ON PRESCRIPTION DOWNERS, DRIVING A 72 MUSTANG DROPPED FROM A
HELICOPTER INTO AN ACTIVE VOLCANO.
9 Where's the party?
I'M NOT SURE BUT I HEARD IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.
10 Who rocks harder Dio or Ozzy?
DIO HANGS OUT WITH DRAGONS. DIO ROCKS HARDER.
Now say something interesting about yourself...
MY FIRST MEMORY IS OF NEW YEARS EVE 1980 I WAS AT THIS PARTY
IN A BIG HOUSE
ON THE SEAFRONT AND IT WAS A REALLY NICE ATMOSPHERE PEOPLE PLAYING GAMES AND
SHIT LIKE THAT. MY FAMILY WAS THERE WITH ME AND I WAS HAVING FUN WACKING
SOMEONE ON THE HEAD WITH A ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER AND SOMEONE OPENED THE DOOR
AS MIDNIGHT ARRIVED AND AS EVERYONE WAS CHEERING AND PEOPLE IN CARS WERE
HITTING THEIR HORNS LOADS OF TANKERS AND HUGE SHIPS HIT THEIR HORNS REAL
FUCKING LOUD. IT SOUNDED COOL. I WENT TO THE DOOR AND LOOKED OUT TOWARDS THE
SEA AND I THINK I WAS THINKING SO THIS IS 1980.
ANYWAY, I CAN REMEMBER THE END OF THE 70'S WHICH IS GREAT.